Control Freak

I have benefited from another’s demise. It’s a shame, but there’s not much room for regret in between the excitement and the scared shitless fear I have.

My boss was an ambitious, driven, energetic, skilled, and intrepid leader. Under his command we successfully put in place a distribution network that will get out 70,000 radios in 4 months over an area the size of France: all to his credit. But he was also the kind of guy who’d more readily ask for forgiveness than permission. Procedure, policy and paperwork were nothing more than obstacles to be circumvented. By the end of July he was unable to account for $31,500 of programme funds, all which he had issued to himself in cash advances.

He had not misappropriated it and, perhaps a little too easily, was able to produce receipts to account for it all. But given our organization’s 2 consecutive years of not so good audit findings and the fact that it’s public money, the shit hit the fan. As the finance director said, “there’s two ways to handle bad audit findings: fix the problem or blame someone.” There was a mutual agreement that he should leave to pursue other offers.

What was needed was someone who could build off the energy and networks put in place, but in a slightly more accountable manner. Someone who can do the reminder of the implementation but keep attention to detail. Call me Mr. Pragmatism. I was jetted off to meet the country director for a once over too see if I was suitable. The hour flight allowed me time to rehearse statements to hide my lack of attention to detail and tendency not to carry things through to completeness. Relative to my ex-boss, though, I’m a procedure angel. Not the label I’d have imagined for myself, if I’m honest.

He’d decided to offer me the job before I arrived, based on the good word of a friend of mine who he knew. I told you this was an incestuous world. Slightly ironic that we are partly here to combat nepotism and this is the second job I’ve got in 3 months based on knowing someone. It’s probably like this the world over, we’re just a bit more discreet about it in London.

I couldn’t say no. When else will I be handed such responsibility, based on such little experience? But the potential for disaster is significant:

I have a staff of 25. [Strike?]

I have a 90,000sqm compound, and 3 more that are being built. [Fire, delays, overrruns?]

I have 3 vehicles and one more on the way. [theft, damage, crash]

I have a budget of $1.6m of US taxpayer’s money. [shopping, anyone?]


No, really, I have no intention of misappropriating funds. I’m going to allow my brother (a US citizen) to choose the colors of the new compound we’re renovating in Wau thereby allowing a taxpayer a say in how his money is spent. I think that’s generous given that I was denied a greencard.

It’s intoxicating, exciting and a little irresponsible.

I’m determined not to fuck up just because it’s such a good opportunity and I can easily commit to the task at hand. It’s easy to do that in development, even if we’re over funded and looking for ways to dump cash. I’m also committed to making sure it goes to good use. I’m trying not to get ahead of myself and to keep my feet on the ground. My new boss, the country coordinator is involved with me at a good level to make sure that I have all the help and guidance I need.

Ultimately, it’s a very good reason to stay. Life will get easier, I think, despite the horrendous to do list I’ve inherited and its daily lengthening. Now that I have more control I can make a much better case for moving the program to a more agreeable location. And as I’ve learned again and again, life is generally better when you feel like you’re in control.